Brookside High Prom Bulletin

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Still dateless? Yeah, me too. But don’t let it get you down. These little setbacks are called “character building” . . .

But hopefully not in the way that people say, “Yeah! He’s such a character!” . . . because I think that’s pretty much another way to say dateless.

Anyway, here’s a few last-minute Prom ask tips:

  • Girls like a smart guy, so catch up on the classics. For reference: Catcher In The Rye - classic. Spiderman’s “Clone Saga” – not a classic.
  • You know that funny dance-floor move where the guy swings the imaginary lasso, ropes a girl and drags her over to him. Does not work.
  • It's one thing to try to spark a connection when asking a stranger for a date. It’s another thing to start off with, “You remind me of my mom!” . . . for the record, that other thing is bad.
  • Sunglasses and a leather jacket. It works for guys in the movies. A jet might come in handy, too.
  • It's down to the wire, but don’t give up! Keep looking. There’s gotta be a girl out there as desperate as you are.

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POSTED BY Lloyd @ 10:04 AM on Thursday, April 21, 2011

 
 

 



If you’re dateless like me, there’s just over two weeks left to find a date for Prom. The bad news? The odds aren’t looking great.

The good news? I won’t get through all of my ask ideas, so here’s some extras:

  • Learn her class schedule. We have five minutes between classes, so run to her next class, stand near the door and let out a big laugh right when she walks in. Even if you aren’t talking to anyone. You’re the “fun guy.”
  • Act like you have a dramatic secret in your past. Keep referring to “that thing that I saw . . . “ before trailing off. Maybe she’ll be intrigued enough to go to Prom with you!
  • Make a big deal about how you work out. Keep talking about all the curls and crunches you can do. Also, carry around a protein shake.
  • Arm casts = sympathy. When she asks to sign it, ask her to throw her number on there, too. No fake leg injuries, though. Leg cast = no dancing.
  • Flown under the radar at school so far? Use that to your advantage! Every girl loves the “Sexy Foreign Exchange Student.” Master an accent and impress her with tales of hunting wolves, owning a goat and going to “Happening European night clubs".
  • My grandma tells me that 100 ‘no’s = 1 ‘yes’, although that’s the kind of thinking that made her lose all that money in Vegas.

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POSTED BY Lloyd @ 12:18 PM on Thursday, April 14, 2011

 
 

 



Maybe you’re freaking out because Prom is on April 29th and you don’t have a date yet . . . but don’t freak out. Because – and I know this from experience – freaking out doesn’t really help you out in the “getting a date” department . . . but maybe these Prom Ask ideas will . . .

  • Girls like bad boys. Do something that shows the world you don't care - Stop wearing belts. Throw away a perfectly good pen. Call a kitten a nerd. Stuff like that.
  • Just pretend like you already asked and she already said "Yes". . . maybe she's really forgetful and will just go along with it.
  • You know those slides that play in the movie theater before the trailers start? I bet that one that just says, "Ladies . . . Prom?" would go a long way.
  • Be sensitive. As you ask, let a single tear roll down your cheek. But don't do what I did and start blubbering all over the place. Less is more here.
  • You know those movies where the girl tries on all those dresses and the guy sits there and is like "No way!" or "Whaaaaaat?" or "Hahahahahaha!" and then "Yeah, that's the one! . . . find a girl that's trying on dresses and be that guy . . . it will work! Unless store security gets involved.

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POSTED BY Lloyd @ 8:29 AM on Thursday, April 7, 2011

 
 

 




Don’t worry guys, there’s still time for this year. And if this year doesn’t work . . .
I guess this advice can be inherited by your son?

- Send her mystery text messages for a week before you finally reveal yourself. The anticipation will drive her crazy!
- Compete in a karaoke contest. Rock the crowd. Then use that moment at the mic to shout your phone number. Don’t forget the area code. You have to dial that now.
- Find a girl that has the flu. Make her a care package. She’ll be so overwhelmed by the fact that you, a total stranger, care she will totally say yes when you show up and ask her an hour later.
- Pretend to have a Hulk-style freak out where you tear your shirt off. Now that you have her attention, she’ll see you’ve written “PROM?” on your chest in magic marker
- On your next big test, write your Prom ask in the blanks instead of the answers. Then pass the test to her!

On that last one, you are going to really want to make sure the teacher doesn’t catch you and get confused, because teachers have gone to jail for that.

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POSTED BY Lloyd @ 9:14 AM on Thursday, March 31, 2011

 
 

 



Still looking for a Prom date? Me too. Don’t worry, I’ve got a few ideas on how you can still find a date during crunch time:

  • Compliment her constantly. Don’t forget to take notes on every item of clothing or jewelry she wears so you don’t compliment the same thing twice.
  • Borrow a puppy from a friend or neighbor and let it do the talking. Or maybe you do the talking in an adorable puppy voice.
  • Learn an impressive skill and show it off while you ask her. Like juggling or ventriloquism.
  • Join a sports team and make a game-winning play, then dedicate it to her.
  • Still not having an luck? I’ve got one word for you: bribes.

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POSTED BY Lloyd @ 9:05 AM on Thursday, March 24, 2011

 
 

 

Yes, Lloyd’s back . . . Still dateless, but still putting my best foot forward. My best foot is a size 10 (the left). My worst foot is a 9 and a half. Not really sure how that works, but whatever . . .


Here are some more top shelf ways to ask a special young lady to prom:


- Make a mix tape for her. She’s probably not going to have a tape player, so it won’t really matter what you put on it.

- On any note, always remember to say "please". Your politeness may trigger feelings of guilt and make her a little more likely to say yes.

- Girls like mysterious guys, so wear a cape and mask.

- Keep it simple - wear a shirt with her name on it. When she asks what you're doing, pop the question!

- Ask that girl that's definitely out of your league. Because, hey, at this point there really is nothing more to lose.

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POSTED BY Lloyd @ 9:21 AM on Thursday, March 17, 2011